So I know I've been dreadfully absent from Buzznet for MONTHS, and I don't even have a legit excuse. I was hardcore into Buzznet last semester at uni, and then when the holidays came, I just got really lazy and started rolling around on Twitter and reading an arseload of books. It wasn't even like I was going through one of the requisite OMG-I-HATE-BUZZNET-SO-MUCH phases, I just got really fucking lazy and couldnt be bothered to take photos and post content and spend hours on the site each day. Which is ironic, considering I was on holidays and had nothing else to do. ;]

Hopefully I can kick my arse out of gear and come back and harass you all, because I totes forgot how much awesome content everybody posts, and how much fun it is to picspam the fuck out of everybody with bad macros.

So what have I been doing? I hear you ask

Either a whole lot, or nothing much at all. In a nutshell, I went to Samoa for a couple of weeks in the Winter holidays (our Winter, probably your Summer), for a holiday that I was really dreading, not gonna lie. I could spend hours on how/why, but I'll save that for another time. Just know that it was a family reunion >_> Samoa ended up being quite fun, though extremely hot and I had the shits pretty much the entire time. (TMI? TMI.) I'll probably do a journal and post the assload of photos I took of that holiday.

And in case you're wondering, yeah I am half Samoan, so that's why the reunion was there - not just because my family is special and wanted to pick some hella obscure place that half the population couldn't point to on the map.

In a nutshell, I visited Robert Louis Stevenson's house - he wrote Treasure Island and 'Jekyll & Hyde, got a cold from visiting this awesome cave pool in Piula, had cotton tips stuck up my nose to test for Swine Flu *shudders*, went to a Fiafia night at Aggie Grey's (google it), chased pigs around with my camera, and had dinner with the Head of State and former Prime Minister of Samoa, Tui Atua. He's got a long official name, but you probably wouldn't be able to read that, much less pronounce it (god knows I couldnt).

Other than that, I've started back at uni, and decided Im going to defer next semester to have a break. I'll be resuming my studies after 6 months, but Im finding myself getting really mentally and physically fucking exhausted these days D: though I will be at uni heaps anyway, because Im a nerd and I do too many extracurricular activities. Also, I got into Golden Key which I'd been aiming for, and at student mentoring I got to tell a whole bunch of prospective students that they were probably going to be raped and murdered :)

SO YEAH OMG IM BACK HI IM BACK IM BACK (lol does anybody care?)

^_^

In case you've been living under a rock, and that rock doesn't happen to have internet access, you'd have seen the Buzznet header for Raimi's flick Drag Me To Hell. Starring Alison Lohman and Justin Long, 'Hell revolves around loan officer Christine Brown, who becomes the subject of a curse after rejecting a request for a loan extension by Roberta Sparrow's leper sister - a cadaverous, bung-eyed old woman with a penchant for vomiting into peoples' mouths.

The rest of the film centres around Christine's wild goose chase to rid herself of the curse, before she's dragged to hell by a Lamia in three days time. Wikipedia tells me that a lamia is some sort of demonic goddess with a penchant for eating children, although this is never clearly explained, and I spent the majority of the film wondering if she was being possessed by evil labia. I reckon being dragged to hell by a flaming vagina wouldn't be too bad.

*SPOILERS* (highlight to check them out) *SPOILERS*

Christine thinks she gets rid of the curse, doesn't, and then accidentally curses her boyfriend as well before being dragged to hell.

THERE IS A TALKING GOAT IN THE MOVIE. A TALKING, POSSESSED GOAT.

As was the case with The Unborn, 'Hell's mythology had so much potential, but was so rushed and messy that it left the viewer confused and wasn't cohesive in the least. Raimi brings in themes of animal sacrifice, mediums, seances and possession, all of which prove fucking useless and I'm still unable to figure out why he bothered including them at all.

The film also fails completely at scaring the audience, with Raimi opting for a small amount of typical 'OMG LOOK BEHIND YOU' scares. These fall flat, as can be expected, with the film instead succeeding in utterly grossing out the viewer. Excessive amounts of mucus, vomit, bugs and what appears to be fecal matter were utilised, only serving to distract the audience as they run for the bucket or toilet bowl. I can't help but wonder if Raimi has grown out of touch over the years, or has tried to avoid a typically gory horror-pr0nz approach and instead produced something much worse.

The worst part of this film definitely lies in the acting, with Lohman and Long being a case of potentially amazing actors stuck in a terrible film. Lohman was awkward to watch as the pathetic former-fat girl, and Long's performance was so restrained that it was painful to watch him portray an uncharacteristically serious and uptight boyfriend.

Any comedy came as a result of the horrendous storyline and acting rather than Long's comedic timing, as the film tries for serious horror and ends up somewhere in the Z-grade guttertrash pile. It's worth watching purely on the basis that it's so unintentionally hilarious, but if you're not a sad, lonely, yobbo like me, there's better things you could do with your time. Like masturbating. I mean, what?

Rating: 2/5

It's Alright, Okay - Ashley Tisdale:
Ugh this song is so disturbingly catchy, and reminiscent of Kelly Clarkson except far less annoying. (Note: I hate Kelly Clarkson).

Banpire Dinosaur - Adam Paranoia ft. Stevie Ryan:
"This bitch was straight up ghetto, gave me wood like her name was Geppetto" - NUFF SAID.

Boner - Straight Outta Junior High
"Got a boner. In class. Class is over. I got that boner back" BEST LYRICS EVER, Y/Y?

Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship ft. Leighton Meester:
I originally downloaded this because I love Leighton Meester, and it's so disturbingly catchy *__*

Cool Sewong - The Totally Cool Guys:
LOL my friends made this song as part of a mockumentary, my only guess is that it's parodying the Aussie hiphop scene. Clearly they're politically aware, as this song is about sluts trying to scab some of your Centrelink benefits ;]

Dont Trust Me - 3OH!3:
UGH WHY IS THIS SONG SO RIDICULOUSLY CATCHY. They play it on the radio all the time here, but they play this completely butchered ~clean version which is just fucked.

GTFO Zombie on my Back - Adam Paranoia:
"I got a zombie on my back, GET THE FUCK OFF"

Beautiful - Late Night Alumni:
I discovered these guys because MichellePhan uses their music in her makeup tutorial videos (I've been on a makeup tutorial kick lately), and it's such pretty easy listening music.

Empty Streets - Late Night Alumni:
See above. This music is perfect for sitting on a train at night, watching the city lights go by ^_^

Scaries That Bite - Adam Paranoia ft. Stevie Ryan:
"I'm the dark spectre walkin' the halls, I got ectoplasm in my balls" - can you tell I've been listening to a lot of Adam Paranoia lately? Adam Scott Franklin and Stevie Ryan are pretty much geniuses, check out their Scene Love series and other lulzy videos :D

Zombie Blood - Adam Paranoia:
This song is pretty much the best thing in existence. If nothing else, there's amusing impressions of Fred Durst and Julia Stiles ;]

Why Don't We Do It In The Road - Across the Universe OST:
BEST MOVIE EVAR, Y/Y?

Helter Skelter - Across the Universe OST:
^_^ Dana Fuchs makes me want to break out into song on public transport.

With a Little Help From My Friends - Across the Universe OST:
I have this movie recorded on my Austar box, and I watch it whenever I get a chance. I probably need to get the dvd, but I'm awfully stingey ;] While Jim Sturgess is hot and the better singer, Max is ultmately my favourite character from the movie <3

I've Just Seen A Face - Across the Universe OST:
Jim Sturgess! *humps*

This Is Halloween - Nightmare Before Christmas OST:
Danny Elfman should never stop being a genius.

Inside Of You - Infant Sorrow:
TEACH ME HOW TO GLOW, WHILE IM MOVING INSIDE YOUUUUUUUUUU. You might recognise this from Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Pokemon Theme - 2BA Master OST:
Revisiting my childhood, obv. :D I remember when I was a kid I knew all the pokemon raps at the end of the show off by heart. Evidently I was a lonely child.

Sendspace

Warner recently acquired the rights to the Death Note manga, specifically having acquired the "rights to turn the Japanese manga series "Death Note" into a live-action film". NEVER MIND THAT THE LIVE ACTION FILM HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE. TWICE. I know I'm a totally biased purist douchebag, but those films were incredible, and so faithful to the source text that the Death Note fan really couldn't ask for anything more.

While I can imagine Hollywood will do a fantastic job with special effects in terms of animating Ryuk, Rem, and the shinigami realm, they were so well done in the first place, that Ryuk and Rem ceased to be CGI characters - they looked like they were actually there. This isn't some George Lucas shit, it looked like you could literally reach out and give Ryuk a crate of apples if you wanted.

Seeing as Warner have only just acquired rights to the project, and casting hasn't even begun, I guess I'll hold my tongue (fingers?) on the subject until more information is available. Who knows, they could do a really great job with casting, and Misa Amane could be made significantly less annoying. Until we hear more I guess I'll just wait and hope that they don't universally fuck it up, Dragonball Evolution style. >_>

Samuel L Jackson - Stackolee
This song is from the Black Snake Moan OST and it seriously gets stuck in my head all the time. Mainly the part where he sings about putting 'nine of my bullets in his motherfucking chest!' LOL SUCH HAPPY MUSIC. But seriously, it's an awesome song and makes me want to gyrate up against lamp posts.

SMAP - Sekai Ni Hitotsu Dake No Hana
Translating to 'One and only flower in the world', this is the #1 all time song in Japan, and it's pretty much the cutest thing ever :D My Japanese teacher introduced us to it ages ago, and we sung it terribly to some Japanese exchange students once. SMAP are like the Japanese version of the Backstreet Boys. YOU CAN'T GO WRONG WITH THAT.

Steps - 5,6,7,8
I'm pretty sure this is the greatest pop song to come out of the 90s, with the lamest video ;] I think my grade danced to this during a school musical once :| NGL, I still prefer Steps' version of Tragedy to the BeeGees. *hides*

The Disables - Damned If You Do
An Aussie punk band from my state's capital city, and I when I say 'punk' I don't mean ZOMG SIMPLE PLAN AND GOOD CHARLOTTE R SEW ~PUNK!!!1!!shiftone!!!! I saw them at a festival a few years ago, and aside from jizzing my pants over how awesome they were, the singer was wearing shoes with green leopard print fur on them. GREEN LEOPARD PRINT FUR. :D

The Spazzys - Paco Doesn't Love Me
LOL so many aussies seem to hate The Spazzys, but I think they're totally adorable. Sure, this all-girl aussie tribute to The Ramones were a straight up retarded choice to support Marilyn Manson on his 2007 tour (or was it 2006? fuck I can't remember), but they take the piss out of themselves and that's good in my book.

The Streets - You're Fit But You Know It
Ahhhh Mike Skinner <3 I can't say I'm a fan of chavvy white English boys rapping, but there's something endearing in Mike Skinner's rapping about the hot chick he saw at the fish and chip shop.

Lindsay Lohan - Ultimate
NGL, I fucking love this song. LiLo performed this song in the Freaky Friday movie, and it's just really cute and catchy. It's the song she plays at the wedding during the credits. :) LOL I'M SO SAD

Violent Femmes - Blister In The Sun
You can't make a happiness/summery mixtape without including this. ^_^ It makes me smile like a creeper on public transport whenever it comes on my mp3 player, and I can't help but be reminded of their set during 2007 Big Day Out. There were 2 middle aged stoner ladies behind me that looked like Barbara Streisand, and this sloshed guy in front of me kept yelling "WE'RE GUNNA GET MOSHED OUT BY OLDIES!" :D ahhh good times.

Killing Heidi - Weir
Ahhhh more Killing Heidi. <3 this song makes me want to go dreadlock my hair and eat weed-filled cookies in Byron Bay.

Zooey Deschanel & Munchausen By Proxy - Yes Man
Obviously off the Yes Man OST, I swear I could have made this mixtape have all Zooey Deschanel songs. She's just so adorable, and can do no wrong in my biased brain. ^_^

Download: Sendspace

SO IT'S TIME FOR MOAR HAPPY MUSIC! :D

Killing Heidi - Calm Down
I haven't heard anything from them in years, but Ella Hooper and the rest of the members of Killing Heidi (don't you love it how the men in female fronted bands don't seem to have names ;P) were once the shit on the Aussie rock scene.

Frenzal Rhomb - Never Had So Much Fun
These guys are fucking hilarious, and you can't go wrong with an Aussie band that pays the shit out of Russell Crowe and his abomination of a 'band'.

Frenzal Rhomb - Punch In The Face
Because all we need is a punch in the face.

Straight Outta Junior High - Happy Fun Song
I discovered this band when I was in the 10th grade, and I've since been addicted to this hilarious song which is actually just an amalgamation of Japanese and non-Japanese words. NINTENDO MOJO JOJO TAE KWON DO QUASIMODO!

Shakira & Danzig - Hips Don't Lie
Watch this video or I'll stab you :D

Infant Sorrow - Inside of You
Because I would like nothing more than to be inside of you ;] From the Forgetting Sarah Marshall OST, performed by Russell Brand /humps

Kate Miller-Heidke - Australian Idol
Seriously, she's so fucking amazing, I just want to put her in a box and poke her with a stick. This song is all about how shitty the American/Australian Idol machine is, and how they're letting fatties on there these days.

Kate Miller-Heidke - Words
akjdlaskjdlkjaslkdjaslkd :D

Josh Pyke - Kids Don't Sell Their Hopes So Fast
Josh Pyke is an awesome pop/folksy Aussie artist, and ugh hes so adorable and really amusing. I totally molested him and got him to sign my arm once upon a time.

Dropkick Murphys - Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced
/humps FUCK YES UGH

Missy Higgins - Scar
Heaps of Aussies hate Missy Higgins, but I think she's totally adorable. Even if I still maintain that in this song she's talking about scrubbing her arse with soap.

Nikki Webster - Strawberry Kisses
AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAA. Even better than Miley Cyrus.

Rogue Traders - Way To Go
Even more Aussies hate Natalie Bassingthwaighte and the Rogue Traders, but I think they're fierce >_>

Download: Sendspace

The Muffs - Kids in America

Is this an eczema commercial or what?

Okay, if the name The Muffs wasn't lulzy enough, this song is the opener for the iconic 90s movie Clueless, and even though I'm no longer a child and have never been close to America, it makes me want to dance like a spazz at the best of times.

The Weekend - Into the Morning

While it's become pretty much the in-thing to blend synth and pop rock these days, I discovered this little known Canadian band The Weekend back in 2004 when their track 'Into the Morning' appeared on the soundtrack for the horrific kids movie, D.E.B.S. Sure that movie was terribly cheesy and definitely wasn't up for any Oscars that year, but this song encapsulates the stereotypical teenage years perfectly (although I definitely didn't experience those :|) - young love, peach drop martinis, and skipping class just to sit in the parking lot.

Pokemon Theme - 2 B A Master HOW COULD YOU NOT?!

Miley Cyrus - Full Circle

NGL, I fucking love Miley Cyrus, and despite all her raunchy photos and escapades, her music is cute. This song is adorable, and I totes wanted to laugh over the idea of El Rich listening to this LOLOL.

Supergrass - Alright

This song was on the Clueless soundtrack too, and it makes me want to drive around in my non-existent car with the top down, flailing around with a bad haircut. :)

Rod & Kevin - Cool Beans

Seriously, if you haven't seen Hot Rod and the scene this is from, YOU FAIL AT LIFE. Greatest movie ever. <3 Andy Samberg

28 Days - What's The Deal?

An aussie band that are kind of an amalgamation of rock, rap and turntabling. Probably sounds like everything from your worst nightmare, but it somehow works. This song is all about getting plastered on the beach with your family and friends, and having done a little bit of cocaine on the side ;]

Baha Men - Who Let The Dogs Out? AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Need I say more?

Barry Louis Polisar - All I Want Is You

This song appears on the Juno soundtrack, and even though this guy's work is supposedly ~comedic in nature, I think his songs are adorable. Better than Billy Ray Cyrus, at any rate ;]

Basement Jaxx - Romeo This song makes me want to star in a Bollywood movie. Listen to it, and check out the video and tell me you don't want to do that ;O

Bernard Fanning - Wish You Well

Pretty much my country's finest export (when I talk about my country, I feel like a European immigrant talking about life in the 'old country' XD), Bernard Fanning from Powderfinger's solo project made me really happy in my pants. FUCK SILVERCHAIR.

Download: Sendspace

The next ones will be up whenever the internet decides it doesn't hate me :) Lmfao @ my random appalling music taste

Take off that burlap sack, throw on some organic 100% cotton, and frolic with me through the interwebz!

Cutting down on carbon emissions is on everybody's agenda these days, so why not plant something in this adorable little rainboot, and water it with your trusty watering can, making up for that gas guzzling car of yours. Better still, use your adorable little Taterpot to grow some noms which you can then take to work/school in your cute little lunchbox, and reusable coffee cup, effectively cutting down on litter and wasteful packaging.

This kitchen timer isn't too green, but I'm sure you'd smile like a spazz using it to cook organic vegan cookies which you'd then send to me ;]. Clean up after your Betty Crocker escapades with one of these dishtowels, and relax with a good eco-inspired book, and cup of green tea using these adorable little coasters.

If you feel like the economic crisis is hitting you hard, and you can't afford to watch your carbon footprint, never fear because I have another glorious solution for you. This Readymade book on How to Make (Almost Anything) will have you recycling and reusing in no time, making use of all the things you already have! No need to shell out for a Prius, you can make a difference with your wardrobe, furniture, and that collection of David Hasselhoff merchandise I know you secretly have.

And why not get others to go adorably green too, with this Eggling as a gift, and these cute celebration themed envirobags are an appropriate alternative to wrapping paper.

These are only a few suggestions, but with the popularity and awareness of environmental friendliness only continuing to rise, there's soon to be a green option for everything. Yes, even David Hasselhoff merchandise. So what are you doing for Earth Day? And what 'Green' things do you use to help the Earth?

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS JOURNAL EDITOR

Dead Like Me: Life After Death: No Rube, but jizzworthy Desmond from LOST, not enough Mason, and a George/Reggie storyline that will make you bawl your eyes out like a condom full of illicit substances just tore in your rectal cavity (okay maybe that's just me)

Transporter 3: Not enough nakey Statham, and the monstrous Ukrainian rangah chick with too much eyeliner is annoying D:

Watchmen: Blue space penis, hot Jeffrey Dean Morgan, blue space penis, unfunfunf Rorschach, blue space penis, awkward googly eyed sex, blue space penis.

The Boat That Rocked: Fat naked Nick Frost, more lulz than Ronnie Radke's prison band, a kickass soundtrack, reused condoms and hot TomStu :D

The Uninvited: Testing your body temperature rectally is probably more exciting /faps over Emily Browning

The Unborn: Unless you like terrible actors and Odette Yustman's bony ass, you'll end up wanting to kick small children - AND HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET CRAZY GARY OLDMAN ON BOARD FOR THIS CINEMATIC TURD? D;